Is “Control” a label or a Superpower?
~ “bossy, controlling, control-freak, Ms. know-it-all” – do any of those labels (i.e. name calling) sound familiar?
If so – how does that make you feel?
It used to be insulting to be thought of – or God forbid – actually called any of those names.
But – let’s flip that perspective:
What if CONTROL was your Superpower? You know – that buzzword you keep hearing about.
Are YOU in Control?
What does being “in control” look like?
The MOST important thing to control is what you let into that precious brain of yours and & especially what gets your attention.
- what/who you listen to (audio books, podcasts, radio, thought leaders)
- what you watch (TV shows, movies, documentaries, videos, websites)
- what you read (books, websites, newsfeed, magazines)
- how you spend your time (learning, growing, self-care, being present, serving) – or binge-watching TV -SVU every night? – talking from experience that does not create “sweet dreams.”
Control over your health
You need to parent yourself & get those routine checkups.
It’s so frustrating – and sad – when a somebody you care about ignores simple routine tests that could save their life!
Don’t wait until a family member or friend gets sick or dies from an illness that is preventable – before you decide to get serious about your own health.
Being Decisive helps you maintain Control
Are you one of those people who are overly-responsible? (If there is such a thing?)
What’s wrong with that – thank goodness somebody takes charge in a crazy situation, right?!
Ever decided to go to lunch with a group of friends and nobody can decide where to go? “you pick,” “oh, I don’t really care,” “doesn’t matter to me” –
…..yes, it’s nice to be easy-going but it’s also refreshing when somebody’s decisive!
Give yourself a break – if you’re the one who likes to be in charge – then wear that shit like a crown.
Don’t ever shrink down – be brave enough to speak up, offer suggestions or ideas and make it comfortable for those less confident.
The key, of course – is to shift your “controlling nature” away from other people and use that “gift” on what is in your control.
Control used in a negative way
There is a fine line between being in control and being rigid.
Zero flexibility – everything has to be your way – yeah – that’s no Superpower – that’s just Super annoying.
I used to cringe when I’d overhear someone say- ”Oh, she won’t like that…..” (situation, thing, idea, show, movie).
Now – I’m proud my friends and family understand my values and principles!
There’s something very freeing about being brave enough to say, “oh, that’s not for me, I’ll pass, you go ahead.” NO explanation – just a firm “No thank you.”
What does Control look like in your life?
What do you want people to KNOW about your self-control?
We definitely need community and support but you and only YOU are responsible for how you live your life, what you think about, who you hang out with, how you spend your time, and what your legacy will be.
PICK one AREA of your life (besides TIME – I have a plan for that one) where you need to gain better CONTROL: (this list might help but feel free to choose something else)
- Getting things done
- Spiritual life
- Designing a more fulfilling life, etc.
Control means taking responsibility
One of my mentors, James Wedmore said it perfectly: “Control is really taking back responsibility for your life – step into and CAUSE your life – you get to decide and CHOOSE how it goes.”
He goes on to say “anything you complain about is really something you’re not taking responsibility for.” (ouch, that truth-bomb stung me a little too)
Understanding how your mind works is one of the best ways to get control of yourself.
Taking control of your 3 Brains
Yes – your Brain has 3 layers – the lizard brain, the mammalian brain and the neo-cortex.
Each layer has a different “agenda” so you must learn how to use each to your advantage.
Do you ever think about how you think?
A good place to start is by recognizing when you are “triggered” or have an impulsive thought – use that to your advantage by consciously deciding to do something else – to make a better decision or choice.
Control vs. taking Charge
The fastest way to accomplish any goal is by managing and directing your thoughts and emotions.
The truth is, we really don’t have any CONTROL – we cannot control situations, other people, tragedies, the weather, etc.
We only have control over how we choose to respond.
We can take charge or responsibility for our “respond-ability.”